Industry Humor

Excellence is a Standard

 
     
 
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A Little Industry Humor to Brighten up your Day!

 

 
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened next door and erected a huge sign reading 'BEST AGENTS.'

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, LOWEST COMMISSIONS.

The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest... sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'

 

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A balloonist is blown off course and is forced to land. He is
in a field close to a road, but has no idea where he is. He sees a
car coming along the road and hails it.

The driver gets out and the balloonist says, "Howdy! Can you tell me where I am?"

"Yes, of course," says the driver. "You have just landed in your
balloon, and with this wind you have obviously been blown off course. You are in the top field on John Dawson's farm, 12 miles from Albury. John will be plowing the field next week and sowing wheat. There is a bull in the field. It is behind you and about to attack you."

At that moment, the bull reaches the balloonist and tosses him over the fence.

Luckily, the balloonist is unhurt. He gets up, dusts himself off and says to the motorist, "I see you're an appraiser."

"Good grief," says the other man, "you're right! How did you know
that?"

"I employ appraisers," says the balloonist. "The information you
gave me was detailed, precise, and accurate. Most of it was useless, and it arrived far too late to be of any help."

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A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.

“That customer's going to come back here pretty mad,” he said to his boss. “Should I give him his money back?”

“Money back?” roared the boss. “What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat.”

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A group of 15-year old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had $6.00 between them and Jannie Johnson, that cute girl in Social Studies, lives on that street and they might see her and they can ride their bikes there.

Ten years later, the group of 25-year-old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was cheap, they had free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute girls.

Ten years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the booze was good, it was right near the gym and if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.

Ten years later, at 45 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big, and the waitresses are cute.

Ten years later, at 55 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good and fish is good for your cholesterol.

Ten years later, at 65 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good and they have an early bird special.

Ten years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was not too spicy, and the restaurant was handicapped accessible.

Ten years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

 

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A guy walks into the real estate office and hands the broker his application. The broker begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every real estate office he has ever worked for.
"I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've been fired from every real estate office."

"Yes," says the man.

"Well," continues the broker, "there's not much positive in that."

"Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application. "At least I'm not a quitter."

 

 

 

 

 
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